Secret Regrets -- The Top 20 Secret Regrets of 20Something Women
According to Kevin Hansen, founder of Secret Regrets, we all have a lot to get off our chests: More than 10,000 people have anonymously posted their answers to that question on his site.
He's compiled them all into "Secret Regrets: What If You Had a Second Chance?" which is now an Amazon bestseller on the Kindle.
What we wanted to know: How did Hansen get the idea? What had he learned about humanity as a result? And what were the most common secret regrets of 20-somethings?
Below, check out the Top 20 Regrets of 20-Something Women -- from ones who wish they'd married the one who got away (or not married the guy they actually did), to two regrets that led to a true love's untimely death. We guarantee you won't be able to click away.
MyDaily: How did you come up with the idea for the Secret Regrets project?
Hansen: A few years back, I was amazed at the kind of things people were revealing on the Web. Blogs, chats and websites were popping up that featured confessions and secrets. And although a lot of these were very eye-opening, there really weren't any that zeroed in and focused specifically on remorse -- or directed the hurting toward healing.
You would see a lot of things like "I'm getting away with cheating on my spouse," stated in a boastful or bragging way. So, I decided to come up with a website that focused specifically on regrets. A tool that gave people an outlet to acknowledge the ONE thing that they would change if they had a second chance -- the BIGGEST regret of their life. And what happened next was amazing. Complete strangers would leave comments of support, understanding and advice. Comments that let people know that they were not alone in what they were facing.
As the site grew to more than 10,000 posts, it became too overwhelming to keep all of them posted online, so I began removing and archiving older entries. A lot of fans would contact me asking about certain regrets that had been removed – regrets that helped them deal with something in their own lives. Many asked that I compile a collection of the most helpful, hopeful and inspiring posts into a book. And after seeing how the project was not only changing lives, but actually saving lives, I knew that a book made perfect sense.
In addition to the physical book being released, the "Secret Regrets" e-book became available as a Kindle download in mid-August. By Aug. 21, it had climbed to the number one Amazon bestseller spot for Kindle downloads in a nonfiction sub-category. Since then it has been in and out of the top position several times.
What have you learned from this project?
The project has taught me so much about people. It's taught me that behind every human face is a lifetime of experiences that have shaped that individual into the person they are at any given moment. We are all really doing the best we can, given everything that's happened in the life we've lived. I've learned people are good. People are strong. People persevere. And if these people can make it through the worst life has thrown at them, then all of us can too. With every burden that's been lifted from someone who has posted their secret regret, I literally feel a little bit of that too. It's been a truly amazing experience.
And now, on to the secret regrets of 20-somethings ...
20 Secret Regrets of 20-Something Women
1. I regret that I didn't meet you before you met her. I know that the experiences you had with her make you the man you are now, but it's because of those experiences that you can't love me as fully as you loved her. As your wife, I love you completely and I know that you love me very much. But I also know that she hardened your heart, and although I'll try my hardest for the rest of our lives, I don't think that part of your heart will ever come back. -- Female, 23
2. I regret not leaving with you when you came to my wedding to stop it. -- Female, 27
3. I regret choosing him because he looked good on paper, when I was so, so in love with you. You and I were best friends who happened to fall in love. When you would touch me, it sent chills down my spine. I never felt that with him. It's been three years, and you still are not going out with anyone, but I married the guy that looked good on paper -- the guy who cheated on me, lied to me and is now divorcing me. I regret that right now, I could be in your arms and in your love, but am not because I chose a different path. I regret that I could not stop loving you, and that you still haunt me every day. If only you would still love me after what I did ... if only you could forgive me ... -- Female, 24
4.I regret friending you on Facebook. Now I see your life without me every time you post a status update. Technology means never having to say goodbye forever. -- Female, 20
5. I regret that you were the perfect man, my lover and my soul mate. Maybe if you weren't so perfect, this tragedy would affect me less. I regret that I am to blame, because if you never drove those 10 miles to come and apologize for something you didn't do, you never would have died that night. I regret that I killed so much potential this world could have used. I love and miss you, baby. I'm sorry. -- Female, 20
6. I regret still thinking about you five years later. I regret seeing you at the mall when I was nine months pregnant and feeling like I had failed you somehow. Most of all I regret dreaming about you at night. It only makes me feel like I am cheating on my husband and son. JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD. -- Female, 22
7. If I had a second chance to do one thing in my life differently, I would not have taunted my sister for being fat when we were children. Now I'm the fat one and she's the skinny one. Deep down, I think this is God's way of punishing me.
-- Female, 26
8. I regret saying yes when you asked me to marry you. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. After all, you're a poor college student who spent $2,000 on a ring. You say you can't imagine your life without me, well ... I can imagine mine without you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. -- Female, 22
9. I regret telling you I wasn't pregnant when I really was. His name was Drake. He is my angel. -- Female, 23
10. If I could change one thing, I would have gotten on that plane. I would have gone away with you even if it meant losing my job. I would have gone away with the clothes I had on my back because all that would have truly mattered was the fact that I was with you. The loss of a job doesn't compare to the pain I feel right now, each day, knowing that I've lost you. -- Female, 26
11. If I had a second chance to do ONE thing differently in my life, I would have chosen to be with you when you asked me to. I couldn't do it because I was too afraid of what my friends would think. And now, years later, none of them are even in my life anymore, but I still talk to and see you every day. Now that it's way too late to do anything about it, I am desperately jealous of your girlfriend and I can't get over what I almost, but never, had. -- Female, 22
12. If I had a second chance to do one thing differently in my life, I would have been honest with my ex when he asked if I'd met someone else. Because I had, and I wanted you the minute I laid eyes on you, so there was no point in denying it really. As it was, he believed we still had a chance and now he won't speak to me ... And the worst part is ... if I had to choose one of you to have in my life ... it would still be him. -- Female, 22
13. I regret marrying you. I was blinded by the romance and the unexpectedness of our relationship. And then we found out we were pregnant, I felt overwhelmed with love, but fear of what others would say about me being an unwed mother. And you were deploying to Afghanistan. So we rushed. You left. I grew up, you grew mean. Every phone call, you yelled at me, you put me down. When you got back to the States, the boys and I were at the bottom of your priority list. It's been almost two months and you still haven't seen us. I'm glad I can see things so clearly now and I don't have to waste the rest of my life and the boys' lives with tension, and yelling, and fighting. I've found someone else. He has been there for me through everything. He kept me company when all I wanted to do was fall asleep in your arms. He comforted me when you would make me cry after EVERY DAMNED PHONE CALL. He drove me to the hospital when I went into early labor with the boys, and slept on the cold hard hospital floor all night and held my shaking hands the next day until my mother could get there. He visited us often at the hospital, and drove us when we could finally come home two months later. He loves me. He loves the boys. And slowly and surely, he has gained my trust, friendship, and love. I choose him. Your stuff is waiting for you in boxes in the kitchen. Call when you want to come get them. -- Female, 20
14. I would treat her better than I did back then. I'm still completely in love with her and know now that I could treat her like a princess. Because that's what she is to me. And no one will treat you better than I can, Kait. That's a promise. -- Female, 22
15. If I had a second chance, I would go back and tell you exactly how I felt when I felt it. It's too easy for you to brush everything aside now. I wish it were easier to let you know how much you changed me. For the worse. -- Female, 20
16. If I had a second chance, I'd risk more. I've lived a safe, comfortable life. I have a safe, comfortable home in a safe, comfortable town. If I had a second chance, I'd go on that trip, take the job far away, run faster and try harder. -- Female, 29
17. I regret saying I didn't like the ring and I didn't like the way you proposed. It was shallow and stupid of me. I know you did the best you could for me and I was still ungrateful and I've always felt horrible for it. Because now, I wish for nothing more than you to put a ring on my finger and call me your fiancee again. -- Female, age unknown
18. I regret losing my virginity in a car in an empty parking lot. Happy birthday, Will. -- Female, 22
19. I regret that I've never experienced true rip-off-your-clothes, impatient, hot passion in a relationship. I regret that reading "Twilight" is the closest I'll ever get to it, because of how you damaged me emotionally. --Female, 24
20. I regret running from the church the day we were to be married. I regret that you thought I didn't love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you. It wasn't that. I was just afraid that our love wouldn't last and that I'd end up like my mother; divorced and alone, dealing with depression. I regret that this rejection led to your suicide. I will always love you. I know that now. -- Female, 29
Around the Web
- What Drives Men Away and What Attracts Them - YourTango
- Bill Clinton: It's Still the Economy, Stupid - The Daily Beast
- Do You Want to Know When Your Friends Run Into Your Ex? - The Frisky
- Would You Marry Someone Who Didn't Have a Job? - The Gloss
- And the City That Has the Most Sex Is ... - The Stir, CafeMom
- 3 Easy Ways to Keep Your Makeup Sweat-Proof This Summer - BellaSugar